November 24th, 2013 marked the 20th anniversary of the release of Mrs. Doubtfire. It’s astounding that people see me, a 34-year-old writer who lives in Virginia, and still recognize Lydia Hillard.
Ever since the movie came out, people have been wanting a sequel. Maybe Mrs. Doubtfire could be working as an undercover cop? Masquerading as an international spy? Blowing the lid off injustices in the beauty pageant industry? There is no end to the possibilities of contrived silliness.
While I’m grateful to have been part of a movie that touched so many people, I can’t help but wonder why that isn’t enough. It doesn’t make any sense that there would be a follow-up to the story, but that doesn’t seem to matter. Mrs. Doubtfire 2 doesn’t have to be good – sequels almost never compare to the original – but people seem to want more anyway.
As we dive into the holidays and this Season of Wanting, epitomized by commercials suggesting that a Lexus with giant bow would be a great gift, I’m reminded that this is just how we tend to do things. We want more of everything. We are a nation of consumers, ready to trample each other to death for a cheap blender or stab someone over a parking spot at Wal-mart. We make long lists of things we don’t need, but we suddenly feel empty without them.
We can easily mistake the endless wanting for ambition, but in reality it looks a lot like self-imposed suffering based on our own fears of not being good enough.
Because for that one flickering moment, we get more of __________ and then we feel like we’ve accomplished something meaningful. It seems like a tangible indication that we have a place in the world. For one second, we can take a deep breath…until we see that Williams Sonoma is having a sale on simmer sauces and we begin the wanting all over again.
And then you throw in a little nostalgia. I get it – there was something wonderful about the 90s. It was a simpler time. I, too, long for those days when you could walk someone right to the airplane gate and everybody could eat gluten. When “Whoa!” could be a catchphrase. When The Real World presented reality television as a groundbreaking social experiment, instead of a way to get famous for being rich and idle.
But, as countless people discover at this time of year, it’s really hard to go home again. The world is a constantly changing place. And sometimes, in trying to recapture the past, you can ruin the memory of what you had. It’s kind of like wearing a mini-skirt when that’s no longer a good idea.
Maybe Mrs. Doubtfire had its time. In 1993. It seems greedy to try to squeeze more out of it. It’s flattering that people want more, but maybe we can just be grateful for what already exists. Maybe we can take that deep breath and just be content with what is.
I don’t know if there will be a sequel. Maybe there is a way to do it well. But I come back to the original question: why do we want it? Why do we want more of something that is just fine as it is?
My life has moved on since 1993. After I retired from acting, I spent a long time pretending that movies never happened, because when I talked about my childhood, people looked at me funny or accused me of not getting over it. So, I didn’t talk about it for 10 years, and then I was accused of running from my past. I realized that I needed to stop caring about those outside opinions and do what felt right.
There will really never be total dissociation from Doubtfire. When you are part of a movie that is on TV almost every Sunday afternoon – a movie that people quote to you in line at the grocery store, a movie that has become a part of the culture of the 90s – it’s just not really possible.
So, I embrace it.
And then I let it go.
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